hot fudge pneumonia

So, the problem with ordering a milkshake that has hot fudge in it is that inevitably some hot fudge will get stuck in your straw. So then you suck on the straw to try and get the hot fudge out, but once there's room for air to get through, you've still got a bunch of hot fudge stuck to the sides that just won't come out. So now you have a straw full of hot fudge that you can't eat. This is a problem.

So now I'm sitting here sucking on my fudge-straw like it's full of crack or something, and I just know I'm going to end up inhaling a bunch of fudge. I will probably choke and die. Or, failing that, I will end up with hot fudge pneumonia. They will take x-rays and be like, "I'm sorry, ma'am, but your lungs look delicious. It will probably be fatal."

Damn you, Steak 'n' Shake!

um...

So, I'm sitting here on the couch, watching PBS Create, halfheartedly surfing teh interwebz and trying to decide if I should get some more Goldfish crackers or just go to bed. My brother, lying on the other end of the couch, is gently snoring, having long ago fallen asleep. Just as I finally decide against the Goldfish, Michael sits up, eyes still closed, and says (perfectly clearly), "Das ist gut, ja?"* then lies back down and resumes snoring.

O_o

_{*Forgive me if that is horribly misspelled; my scant German study was brief and long ago.}

adventures in sleep deprivation

It's 5 AM, and I'm up finishing homework. This is my own fault, and I readily accept that, and I'm not particularly mad about it, just amused at what my sleep-deprived brain does at this point. For example, I'm typing a reading response for my Young Adult Lit class, and I'm literally falling asleep as I write. It's a problem. A moment ago, I realized I'd typed the following: "One of the most significant conflicts in this book is Steve’s internal conflict over his (getter gooze, or." Full stop.

*stretches* Three more sentences and I can stop. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming...

haunted by history

So, I spent basically my entire weekend researching and writing a ten page paper for my poli-sci class about the US's founding fathers and the separation of church and state. It was a pretty interesting topic, and the paper, while rushed, came out pretty decent, I'd say. But I think the extreme immersion in books about dead white men has addled my brain.

For example, I'm sitting here reading an article for a paper I'm writing in another class, and I'm kind of sleepy, so I'm dozing a little off and on, and I just had the most bizarre dream, where the ghost of James Madison was haunting my bathroom, except he had the appearance and personality of Napoleon. I don't really know that much about Napoleon, except that he was short and power-hungry, but I knew that's what he was like. But he was still James Madison. (I told you it was bizarre.)

Anyway, in my dream, I was taking a shower, and he (the ghost of James Madison) was standing outside the shower, and we were talking, but of course it was a dream and I found it totally normal that he was there, talking to me like my mom does when I'm showering at home and she comes in to brush her teeth or something. Anyway, we (the ghost and I) were arguing about something, I forget what, and then I went to get out of the shower and we were really arguing by this point, and he pushed me over, and I'm like, fuck that shit, so I said, "Begone, James Madison, you don't actually exist," (because of course he's a ghost). And he disappeared. And then I woke up.

RIP

Rep. Stephanie Tubbs Jones (D-OH) passed away yesterday after a brain hemorrhage. While I first found out who she was during her stint as a somewhat dubious celebrity on the Knox campus, she really was a credit to the House, and it's a shame she had to go so soon.

bizarre

So, I was working this evening, and around 7:30 pm, returning from a delivery, I made a right turn into the Pizza Hut parking lot and...my turn signal didn't stop. I mean, the little handle clicked back into the "off" position and everything, but the light on my dash was still blinking, and the little ticking noise was still ticking, and, sure enough, both the front and rear signal lights were still blinking. Pulling into my parking space, I clicked the handle down, as to signal a left turn, and found that instead of helping the problem, I'd only succeeded in turning both signals on at the same time. Which would be cool, if I wanted emergency flashers (mine work, but are unusable because the button sticks) but totally useless as turn signals. And so the problem was thus: the left turn signal worked normally, but the right one was always on, no matter what I did. I could put the handle in any position, I could turn off the car and remove the key, but no matter what, the signal was still on, ticking, flashing, and everything.

I told the manager when I went back inside, and he said (after he quit laughing) that there was nothing to be done for it just then, but if things slowed down and I got a minute, I should take out the fuse, and that would at least turn it off until I could get it looked at.

Well, things never slowed down, and so I finally drove home at 10:30, turn signal still blinking merrily away. When I got home, I explained the situation to my mother, and we got a flashlight and went to work on the fusebox.

I took out each and every goddamned fuse, and nothing stopped that signal. I think there must be something more to it though, because the dome light didn't go off either, and one of the fuses had to be for that, too. So we were doing something wrong, but we didn't know what. Finally, exasperated, we dug out a socket set and disconnected the battery. Obviously, that did the trick. Except we still don't know what the problem was, or what we were doing wrong with the fuses. So tomorrow morning, I get to call my uncle Rob, who's a mechanic, and explain to him the new and weird habit my car has apparently developed.

And also the weird thing with the brakes, but that's another (and probably far more mundane) story.

My mother has now officially declared that I "do bizarre things to cars." I resent this statement, because this is the first bizarre thing that has ever happened to a car under my care, and I most certainly did not do it.

Also, she'd better hope that's not the case, because I'm scheduled for a 9-hour shift tomorrow, and guess whose car I'll probably be driving? (Hint: not mine!)

prepositions

The following is a sample, and I'd call it a fairly representative one, of a single sentence from an article I have to read this week as homework for my film class.

"Endlessly interactive, his films can only be understood in terms of their adaptation of the generic conventions of the documentary to the tradition of black gay and lesbian self-representation of which they are a part."

Oh my god. It's like one of those Russian dolls, except with prepositions.

Did you feel it?

There was an earthquake today. Seriously. And I didn't feel a thing.

minor cleaning

I did some cleaning up in my room this evening, and it's lookin' pretty spiffy if I do say so myself. And I do. And then while the mood still had me, I started cleaning up some stuff on my computer, reorganizing, sorting pictures, things of that nature. And I came across this gem that I'd taken and meant to post back in December.

It's a billboard for Huntington University. There are many reasons why I did not go to Huntington University. This was not one of them, but had it been up when I was college-hunting, it would have been.

baffling

It has been a week of crises. Well, a two-and-a-half-weeks of crises, really. Some more major than others. But I can deal with that. I think.

At any rate, what's bugging me right at this moment is a medium-sized and decidedly painful bruise on the underside of my left forearm. It appeared there two days ago, and I don't know what on earth could have caused it. I generally don't bruise for anything, and now I've had two unexplained bruises, both on my left arm, in as many weeks. Nothing large or particularly alarming—just inexplicable.

I wonder if my arm will fall off next. That would be unfortunate.