Thursday, February 21, 2008


I took a math test today. Well, yesterday now, I suppose. I don't want to make any overconfident assumptions, but, well, I'm pretty sure I kicked its ass. It's amazing what an hour's cramming can do. I'm actually eager to get the thing back—I haven't felt so accomplished in a long time.

That said, I only slept three hours last night, and now it's 5 AM and I'm still awake again. I don't have any Thursday classes, but I do need to get some things done, and I will have to be awake for Friday, which means I have to sleep Thursday night. This could be a problem.

Ah well. After Friday, it's the weekend again. I can make it 'til then.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


I really ought to be in bed. It doesn't count as research for a story anymore when you've got three times more information than you could possibly use. But Wikipedia is a fascinating place. And gardening is a fascinating topic. And I'm amazed at how one name can refer to so many different types of flowers.

Also, I'd forgotten about snapdragons. Those were my favorite flowers when I was little. And impatiens. And dusty millers.

I want a flower garden.

Monday, February 11, 2008


It has been a week of crises. Well, a two-and-a-half-weeks of crises, really. Some more major than others. But I can deal with that. I think.

At any rate, what's bugging me right at this moment is a medium-sized and decidedly painful bruise on the underside of my left forearm. It appeared there two days ago, and I don't know what on earth could have caused it. I generally don't bruise for anything, and now I've had two unexplained bruises, both on my left arm, in as many weeks. Nothing large or particularly alarming—just inexplicable.

I wonder if my arm will fall off next. That would be unfortunate.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

I would just like to know...

...why I can only seem to write between the hours of 1 and 4 AM. Srsly kids. This is not conducive to maintaining a healthy sleep schedule. Goddamn fiction.

Oh well. While I'm up, I guess I'll share. Better than caffeine, this.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

an experiment

I feel like there's a difference between gossiping and just talking about someone behind their back. I'm not sure what it is. I think maybe it's intent. Gossip is malicious. It may or may not be true. The intent is to start rumors, to make other people think worse of the subject of the gossip. Talking about someone behind their back can mean anything. Well, not anything. It's talking about a person who is not present. This can be a good thing (e.g. planning a surprise birthday party), but you and I both know that's not what I'm talking about here.

I feel like sometimes it's necessary to talk about somebody behind their back. Sometimes you have strong feelings about a person, and you can't come straight out and tell that person, because you have to work things out first, so you don't say something you don't mean; it is often beneficial and sometimes necessary to bounce ideas off another person before you do that. Of course, that's not what I'm talking about here. Okay Andrea, quit beating around the bush.

I'm talking about venting. Ranting. You know. Oh-my-god-I'm-so-sick-of-so-and-so, that kind of stuff. This is not bouncing ideas, nor is it quite gossip. At least, not in this case: it's all true, and the intent is not for it to go any farther than that set group of people (two or three, myself not included) to whom I'm venting, and I know it won't. So is it wrong?

Sometimes people--okay, let's be honest, I'm talking about one person here--make me very upset, and in this case, it is a person I cannot always reasonably avoid. There is a small group of people who share this predicament. We are stuck in this predicament, probably for the rest of the year at least. Confronting this person about anything, even in the most gentle and constructive manner possible, is at best ineffective, and at worst, it starts a long, smoldering argument. Experience has confirmed this fact repeatedly. So what do we do? Do we sit in silence, waiting, hoping for the issue to go away, remaining stoically unmoved through every outrageous word and action springing forth from this person? I posit that this is an impossibility. It cannot be done, at least not by me, and that's saying something, because I feel that I am generally a very imperturbable person. So we vent. It harms no one, and it keeps us from going insane or finally breaking down and engaging in a screaming match in some public space. I feel that this is perfectly acceptable.

Still, I wonder.

Perhaps I shall make an experiment. I will not talk about anyone not present in a negative manner for one week, starting now. 3:30 AM Sunday morning, Feb. 3, until the same time Feb. 10. We shall see how this goes.